I love you my friends. You pull me back from the edge and remind me that this boat we're sailing is part of a fleet. Thanks.
I have cancelled our Vision Therapy for now. It's too much for Ben. If we need to pursue it later, we will. Thanks Lynn for calm words from a Kindy teacher.
Leigh, you are right. Ben's transitioning already. He brought his new "big school" backpack and lunch bag to camp this week. He is alternately hungry as a horse or not eating much at all. His legs hurt. He's not sleeping peacefully. His shoes are too tight. He's so tired he can barely get through the social demands of being friendly at camp. It's only noon and he's already been in the school office with me (filling in part-time) having the mother of all meltdowns - just broken hearted boo-hoos - because a little girl in camp hurt his feelings. From a child who NEVER, EVER cries at school over stuff like that. Hmmm...I am thinking that a long drive this afternoon might coax my little guy into a nap.
Bethee, I think a Clin. Psych. might be a great way for us to go. However, the one near me that specializes in adoption and IA does not participate in insurance plans. I do not want to pursue yet more appointments for Ben (especially those not covered by insurance) right now. I also feel that the oppositional defiance issues are not school, church or social issues. They are family issues. They appear when Ben is nervous, upset or exhausted. Shame I could not see reality more clearly weeks ago, huh?
So, the next two weeks will have mini-camps for Ben. Three mornings instead of five. We will have OT on one non-camp day, but earlier in the day so he's not so tired. And, we will hang out at home and let him decompress.
My Mom is coming over for the weekend. This will be a great break for Ben. He is so happy just hanging out and talking with her and listening to her read to him. He's very comfortable with her. She also reminds that, no matter how verbal or opinionated or grown up he sounds, he's still five. Five year olds need a break.
Sometimes I just can't see the signs.
3 comments:
The Clinical Psychologist we're seeing is located in Beijing -- and to say the schlep is horrid is an understatement. The traffic is horrid -- think New York, Boston, and Atlanta combined into one city with gridlock. So our CP does Skype sessions. You look at finding the right one (that insurance covers) and then proposing a Skype session. The great side benefit of not having to schlep to the doctor is that Ben would be at home in a comfortable setting and more willing and active in the participation. We had our first Skype last week, and he was so relaxed with the doctor (initial meeting so just data gathering, friendly chat) that the doctor was able to actually see C in a "typical, normal" behavior vs. stressed and non-typical. Just a thought. Sending hugs from China!!
Ann, sweetheart, give yourself a break, you absolutely could see the signs, you just needed help interpreting them. Sometimes when we are so busy in the day to day minutia we cannot see the forest for the trees. Not meaning that as a criticism, just as a practical observation coming from a couple of years of missing the forest....
You've made some wonderful adjustments to your schedule. I'm sure you will see terrific improvements. He just sounded like he was overwhelmed and afraid. A little closeness with Mom and Dad sounds like just the ticket.
Good job Ann.
Ann, don't beat yourself up. Like Leigh said, when we're in the thick of things, we are focused on whatever is going on in that moment..and the next..and the next. That leaves very little (if any) energy to step back and look at the bigger picture.... Forget about figuring out what it means. That, my friend, is one of the many reasons we need each other: to help give the view from the outside :-)
You're doing great!
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