Self-Criticism and Connecting

Well, the specific virus or whatever that attacked me four weeks ago seems to have morphed into a long and drawn out scratchy throat, sinus thing with a cough. Grrr. It's hard feeling sort of lousy. You're well enough to work, to run errands, to take care of a demanding child, but you're not well enough to really enjoy any of it.

Some updates. I have been forwarded some information about an author and I want to know if anyone has heard of her. Dr. Karyn Purvis of TCU. She has written a book about connecting with children from "hard places" and some of it seems very applicable to my controlling, hypervigilant, sometimes still insecurely attached sweet son. Dr. Purvis presents seminars along with a couple who have 11 kids (mix of adopted and bio). I will be ordering her book from Amazon this week (rats it's not on Kindle yet) and will let you know what I think. I am far enough along in this life of mine that I am not expecting any sort of step by step guide, but a new perspective might be nice.

Ben is still making Kindy look good. He's not perfect, but wow I am impressed with both his willingness to work (especially with homework) and his acclimation to a 7 hour school day. I completely credit his teacher (a Mom of an active 11 year old son). I am slightly fearful that maybe she's just not telling me everything. Goodness, I spend a lot of time waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I read a blog this morning and believe I should follow her advice. I try really hard to not criticize how others parent their kids. I have learned beyond all doubt that every child and every situation is unique. I don't want to hear others telling me how to parent- especially when I did not ask. In fact, it's a given that I will cut them off, change the subject, roll my eyes (internally) or completely tune out to what they're saying. So, two criticisms of my own parenting. Hmmm....hard to pick just two. These are the big ones.

1. Yes, I have a co-sleeping child. No, I am not up to it at this point to fight this battle. I'll let you know when I am. Right now I am enjoying the best sleep I have had in years because my child does not wake me up four times a night calling for me. He reaches out his hands and puts one on my husband and one on me. He sleeps well, wakes up happy and so do I. Oh, and part B of this self-critical examination is that I am completely defensive about this with others - so no flaming.

2. I should care more about "taking care" of my husband. This translates into cooking for him. I'd rather take a beating than try and come up with a meal plan for a week. If, heaven forbid, I leave it till 5:00 - then it's gonna be a pizza night. For home-cooked meals I have to think and plan and buy and ugh. Why can't breakfast be the "family meal" of the day? I am good in the morning. By dinnertime, I just want a bowl of cereal or some toast and some peace and quiet.

So these are my issues. We are quickly heading into the holiday season so I am sure I will have plenty of family fodder for you.