Moving on

I just published my rough post from September 9th. I was really struggling and trying to put into words what was happening with Ben.

Ten days later, it's as if a storm had rolled through and stayed for two months but has now blown over. First Ben is completely ROCKING kindergarten. Fabulous reports from school, "great day" stickers, checks a book out from the library every day, and can't wait to get up and get ready for school. His progress report from his teacher declared that Ben listens and follows directions, can control his behavior, is on target with all skills, is making friends and is respectful and courteous to students and teachers.

At home, Ben is a different child from the one I wrote about 10 short days ago. He's polite, he uses manners, gentle hands and asks before taking. He's not bugging Bogie, he's back to some quiet play and he actually took a nap yesterday.

I am quietly berating myself. I knew it could pass - this awful scary adjustment. Ben's brain and heart have decided after four weeks of school that it is safe for him to leave home, be gone for a long time, and come back again. Kurt and I will still be here. He does not have to remind us constantly that he is "here" with his defiance and acting out. He does not have to control every interaction he has with us.

My biggest concern was the "what if it does not pass?". I don't want to only experience the angry, controlling, manipulative and challenging Ben. I need the funny, charming, incredibly bright Ben that laughs at my jokes and critiques my outfits. I also have such low patience - even on mild meds - that we are not compatible at all on some tough days.

So, raise a glass and toast the return of my sweet darling Ben. Make no mistake - he's still 5 and all boy - but the storm has passed and the skies are clearing.

Oh, and I got a haircut (just for you, L). It's a chin-length bob. Today it's curly. I am feeling a bit poodle-headed, but I like it. It's rather chic (even on dorky me) when it's straightened. No pics yet.