Moving along

The last week has become a productive one for me. I am not talking about regular productive like groceries and laundry, which by the way, never seem to be done completely. I mean in my "decisions" that I discussed two weeks ago.

I stepped off the cliff and did not go splat on the ground. Whew. So far, so good.

Yeah, I know. I watch myself struggle with these decisions and chuckle at my own folly. I need to get over it and stop taking myself so seriously. The whole point of life is growth and change. If I don't grow, and, (gasp) perhaps even evolve, then I am not living. So these changes are an exciting opportunity for growth and that's my "motivational speaker" mantra for today.

So do you wanna know my decisions? Is anyone even still reading? Frankly, even I am a bit bored by me today. I appear on paper to be neurotic - wonder how I appear in person?

Decision 1. I was asked and accepted the position of Steering Committee Chairperson for Cradle of Love Adoptions. COL was our local homestudy agency when we adopted Ben. Judy, our social worker, also worked with me as a family therapist after Ben came home. I have been a committee member for two years (maybe three years) and I really enjoy it. So this was a good and easy choice.

Decision 2. I have been approached with a part-time job opportunity. Having been out of corporate life for four years I feel pretty rusty, but the job would work with Ben's school hours and be a new challenge. I have not received the offer yet but I am thinking that I will accept if they offer it to me.

Decision 3. It's all L's fault. I really want to do a birth family search for Ben's birthparents. I am undecided on whether or not I want any contact with them. As I dug through the adoption information we have currently, his birthfamily info is a few handwritten lines on one piece of note paper. I have no details. No town where they live - just a family name.

Also, the baby house where Ben lived for a year has been closed down due to fire code violations and the proposed cost of bringing it up to date. So the link between my agency and the baby house and the birthparents (via the Russian SWer) is gone.

What if the bmom has had another child and placed him for adoption? What if he's in a baby house right now? If we knew, we would adopt a sibling tomorrow. I know that sounds crazy considering we've pretty much taken another adoption off the table. But it's how we feel.

What if a birthsibling has already been adopted by a family here, or in the UK, or Spain, or Germany? I would love to have the opportunity for Ben to meet and know any sibling.

I also know Ben well enough to know that he will ask about birthfamily. I don't want much more time to pass before I have facts in front of me. No, he does not need to know it all now. But I want to know. I want to know for Ben because he's insatiably curious about everything else in his life and somehow I don't think this will escape his radar for much longer. When he asks, I want to have the truth to tell him. If he wants to search/try to contact/have contact with his bfamily when he's older I want him to be able to start with more than four lines on a piece of paper with 15 year old information.

And now a completely unrelated question for you. I am in need of great recommendations for basic child-rearing books (not adoption or special needs related). I have Love and Logic though I did not finish it. Any other books you find to be especially helpful for Ben's age group?