The Inexplicable

Things Ben does that I just don't get.

He yells for me from the bathroom and says he needs help. I walk in and his leg, with a foot still in the sock, mind you, is all the way in the toilet.

He picks a particularly annoying booger out of his nose and feels that he must wipe it on a leg - mine or Kurt's. Never his own leg.

He climbs up in my lap and snuggles close. Then he lets go of a huge, long, loud and smelly fart. Right on my lap.

I kill a small spider using Ben's discarded shoe. Ben must pick up shoe and examine smooshed spider parts.

I buy him chicken nuggets from a fast food restaurant (yeah, I was bribing, um, I mean rewarding him). He asks for packets of dip for the nuggets. He then eats the dip out of the packets with his fingers.

All of this happened in the last 24 hours. Asking Ben "why?" has yielded no helpful responses. My Mom has already warned me that this will continue and grow in gross-intensity over the next ten years.

Of course, this is the same child who asked me if I knew what my destiny was. I said, yes, my destiny is to make sure you reach adulthood, safe and healthy. He was not impressed. He told Kurt the other day that he wants to be a spy and work for "the Company". Huh?

My Mom laughs and tells me that God gave us the perfect child for us. He keeps us on our toes that's for sure. Wonder what tomorrow will bring?